My Ideal Church

For the past couple months Rob and I have been part of a Church Planting Small Group at Crossings.

We were given this assignment a couple weeks ago:
"In 50-100 words describe your ideal church"

Of course I went over by a word or two, but here's what my dream church would be like:

My Ideal Church...

Is very welcoming. We have fun together and celebrate often. We share our joys together so well that they're enough to carry us through life's sorrows. We live close to one another and spend days intricately involved in each others' lives. We care about people around us in a non-do-gooder way. We care about the earth, the health of our families, and the world around us in uncool ways. We hold each other accountable. We do all this because we love Jesus and he is so good to us.

On Sunday mornings the songs are real, the teaching sound and moving. The love of God palpable. And...my baby can cry throughout.

Mark Nelson summed up my 102 word description in 1 word - Community. Yes, I think that's it!

Mama Worry, Go Away

Mama Worry and her sister Mama Guilt have been beating down my door.

Before Eli was ever born Rob and I decided that we were going to parent like Eli was our 4th kid. We weren't going to panic, we would let him eat off the floor, and the 5 second rule would be extended to, if he finds it he can have it - germs can be our friend. We'd play pass the baby at parties and church and everyone would be happy and relaxed.

This lasted until week 17 of Eli's life when he stopped breathing during the night. I woke from a bad dream, checked on Elijah and found him sleeping gray and breathless. I thank God for waking me from that nightmare and giving us the state of mind to do rescue breaths to bring our little boy back to us. For letting there be time.

Nothing was ever found to be wrong with him and Dr.s labeled it a "near miss SIDS". Needless to say, this rocked our world and a sleep monitor for Eli finally allowed Rob and I to sleep soundly through the night and stop taking shifts. But, oh did Mama Worry bend my ear. Does he have brain damage, are doctors missing something, will it happen again, can we save him again, did I cause it somehow?

I suffered some serious post-traumatic stress and felt the after-effects of adrenaline in my body for days. I totally know now how moms lift cars and do all manner of crazy feats to save their babies. Within a couple weeks we resumed a new normal; our reality changed based on what we'd experienced. We celebrated having Eli with us, but unlike ever before we realized that he was in God's hands for protection and provision. We got to love, care for and look after this little boy, but he wasn't ours alone. Life could be fragile.

I struggled to take back our relaxed parenting style. For the couple months following, I was on edge. Nervous and doubting most everything. But I adopted a 'fake it 'til you make it' strategy; remaining calm and nonchalant on the outside, while quietly resolving paranoid fears in my mind endlessly entertaining Mama Worry and Mama Guilt. However unhealthy, my 'fake it 'til you make it strategy actually did work. And our healthy little boy grew and grew unencumbered by psycho mom.

With few and normal new mom/baby health scares along the way we did great and Rob and I really were able to continue parenting in a non-stressful way. Remembering what happened week 17, allowing ourselves to be forever changed by week 17, but trying not to dwell on the what could have been and trying not to let week 17 unduly and negatively influence everyday normal parenting and health decisions. We always ended those remembering discussions with God is amazingly good to us. We are incredibly lucky to have experienced God's direct intervention. He is mighty to save.

And then came last weekend. I was at a Bradley Teacher Training in Atlanta and Eli got sick. He began running the first temperature he's ever had in all of his 9 months of life. Friday night the fever began and it continued over into Saturday. Fever and a runny nose were his only symptoms and Eli wasn't phased by either. I called both his pediatricians (one in PA, one in GA) and our pharmacist to get advice on what to do until his previously scheduled appt. on Monday am. We gave him Tylenol and Motrin (the first he'd ever had) and watched him. I continued with my training and Eli continued playing, eating and drinking like normal. We were assured we could easily ride out this illness until we got to the dr.s office on Monday am. Then on Sunday afternoon after waking from a nap you could tell he felt worse and his fever was higher, 103+. We took him to the ER, but before going in we checked his temp again. It was back to 101+, so our pediatrician said it would be okay to just take him home and bring him in first thing Monday. So we went home.

Then Sunday evening around 6 after waking up from another nap, Eli appeared to have a febrile (fever induced) absent seizure from a temperature spike. We got in the car to drive back to the hospital but decided to call an ambulance instead after he projectile vomited. Poor little sick boy. His underarm temp in the ambulance was 104.5 (so more like an oral 105.5) and his pulse was close to 200 bpm. He got a mega dose of Tylenol in the ambulance and a dose of Motrin once we got to the ER. His temp came down and we came home. It was just a plain virus.

At the peds office the next day, we got an antibiotic for a possible sinus infection and our kind nurse (my nurse when I was a baby) attempted to calm my fears concerning febrile seizures. But once again Mama Worry and Mama Guilt decided to stay for a visit. What would another mom have done, does a temp that high or seizures cause long-term damage, is he going to be okay, has he had enough of the meningitis vaccine to be protected, surely this bug came from the shopping cart at the grocery-why didn't I cover the handle bar?

We spent Monday night from 5pm to 11:30pm with Eli in and out of the bath and rotating hospital dosages of Motrin and Tylenol every 3 hours. We worked so hard to keep his temp below 103.5 which was the Drs' cut off for us having to go back to the ER. He got up to 103.4. Poor sick baby.

I come from a long line of fretters. Which is a big reason I tried so hard in the beginning to not start the pattern of worrying early- To tell Mama Worry and Mama Guilt to take a hike. But man, has it been hard I feel like I've been given this perfect baby boy where my one and only job is to not mess him up - but, it is unbelievably hard! And surely, he will not escape unscathed from our parenting. My mom and Rob's were notorious (though now reformed) worriers; and they are my best cheerleaders in my anti-worry campaign. Just last night my mom reminded me not to waste this time worrying, Elijah is growing up so fast.

Fear, stress and anxiety is a terrible and exhausting frame to parent your child from, though a great way to lose weight (picture wedding day skinny-friends from years ago). Our week 17 is what I go back to when my brain senses danger and it is a perpetual tug of war between rational calm mommy and Please-Don't-Let-Him-Die panic mode. Hopefully realizing this will help me lean toward the rational calm side of my mommy brain more and more often and that time will heal the trauma we faced when Eli was so small while still remembering our reality that God gives life and keeps our babies even when we can't.

9 month-er

Eli in his gaudy game day orange. Go Vols!

Elijah turned 9 months old a couple weeks ago! WooHoo!!

He is a crawling, laughing, clapping, waving, squealing bundle of non-stop action. Eli began 'real' crawling a couple weeks before turning 9 months. He eats most anything-even without any teeth, though I can now finally feel a tooth bud. Also, he's a little over 20 lbs. Weigh-to-grow kid.

He won't stay still for a second. Even the quickest diaper change involves chasing down his bare bum at least once from the other side of the room. I have now permanently set up the pack in play in our living room for when I have to leave the room. No longer do I return to find my baby exactly where I left him- He now is under the table, behind the TV or reaching under the couch....baby proofing supplies, yes please.

We take him to a lot of intramural games here at the college. Anytime the crowd gets excited we join in, too. Eli's cue to clap is when mom and dad yell "Yay!" He loves being in the know on how to act like a big kid.

Elijah began waving after his deliriously high fever on Monday at the pediatricians office. Rob was holding him and Eli waved "bye bye" to the Doctor. Nice kid, we get the picture. You're done being poked and prodded.

I know it's probably a little early for Elijah to begin talking, and maybe it's just my imagination, but I feel like Eli can say,

baby
bye bye
daddy

and, my personal favorite, "Vrroom, Vvroom." In true little boy fashion.

Let's just hope, "No" is still a couple months away.

View that I have most often now that he crawls.

A Boy and his Pumpkin

As a disclaimer- Maybe I'm a party pooper, but I don't like Halloween as a holiday at all. I do love, however, dressed up kids, handing out candy, and carving pumpkins. This is wonderful and so that is what we do.

Elijah was a dinosaur! We would roar at him- he loved it and would nuzzle us back!

Eli and his pumpkin - 2010

Eli and his pumpkin - 2009.

Thanks Rob, you do a great job carving our pumpkins!

Knoxvillians

courtesy of Google earth and husband

It is a process, you know.

3 big moves in 3 years of marriage.
-East Point to Kigali, Rwanda
-Kigali to Lancaster, PA
-Lancaster to Knoxville, Tn

And none of these have been simple point A to point B moves. They've all involved some sort of limbo period anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. As you could guess, moving is not my favorite. In fact, I hate everything about it. Cardboard boxes and bubble paper do not excite me, not even pizza on the floor with friends who've just helped us move. I have an awful attitude about it from beginning to end. I have to work really really hard to be a loving wife and to not flip out at Uhaul offices and DOTs. Me and Jesus seem to talk a whole lot during the courses of our moves.

However, over time I have noticed an ever so slight improvement in my disposition. - I'll have to ask Rob what he thinks. Perhaps it's that I'm getting better at knowing what to expect, that Rob protects me from brunt of the move, or that I allow myself more graces of imperfection. But, I do notice that I don't shutter at Lowe's purchases, random taxes, and red tape AS MUCH as I used to. But yuck, recalling all of our moves and relocation anxieties really does make my chest hurt.

Regardless, we now find ourselves in Knoxville, TN where we will be for the next 5, 20, or 100 years. Who knows- I no longer plan. We currently reside on a college campus while we search for housing. Last week we placed an offer on a house, it was accepted and we moved full force ahead. Sadly, though it turns out that sometimes previous owners feel that foundations are optional. You know it's a no-go when your home inspector says, "basically, this exterior wall is just for aesthetics-the real support is in the basement on 2x4s and concrete blocks. " Yikes.

So the search continues.

Even though it stinks to leave places we've loved and be in transition and have SO many unknowns to work through, it has been great to get here and begin to get plugged in to the area. We've already made a ton of friends through church, campus, my mama groups and getting rooted in the local community. What adds the most peace to our journey here though is how awesome it feels to be where God wants us to be. I love seeing Rob in his new role as church planter - using gifts and talents that are uniquely designed to be used here and now. That part about moving has been great.

Pumpkin Patch

Saturday we took Eli to a pumpkin patch in north Knox county. After driving an hour, I thought "oh no, this is one of those ideas that sounded way better in my head. Poor husband was exhausted and just wanted to rest - and Eli has no idea that a pumpkin patch is exciting stuff...what was I thinking." But, it turned out to be a great family outing. Eli started out a little unsure of why we were there- especially on the hayride out to the patch, but quickly warmed up to a field full of bright orange globes on which he could drum and beat to his heart's content.

Here are some of my favorite shots from the day

After much searching, Rob and I selected the perfect carving pumpkin- can't wait to see what Eli thinks of that fun event!

37 in - 37 out

Last week we passed quite the milestone. 37 weeks in utero and 37 weeks out-ero. In 70 something weeks this little guy has gone from blob of cells to a clapping, crawling, independent person who can dig in his toy basket all by himself. Amazing.

8 months of joy

This is Elijah at Baby Bookworms. An awesome program at our local library for infants to age 2. He LOVES it; his new favorite thing to do. The librarian reads some stories, we have a snack, have mom and baby sing along songs and puppet play. He loves watching the other babies crawl walk and babble around. He will soon be picking up all kinds of new tricks I'm sure.
8 month stats:

Eli's not doing what I would call an orchestrated crawl but he doesn't let that slow him down. He gets most anywhere he wants to eventually. We now hold crawling practice daily since we've been watching the other babies at Baby Bookworms do it. Poor guy had been having to figure it all out himself with no examples before our new social outing.

Baby Bookworms has also spurred a new love. Books of course. He wants to hold one all the time...nursing, strolling, eating, etc....

We just moved Eli to his own room. And, he is now sleeping 7 or 8 hrs a night at least and last night (closer to 8 1/2 months) he slept 11 hrs! Hallelujah! He also has a clear tell of when he's sleepy. He pulls his hair and give himself this mad scientist look. It's especially cute when he pulls the tuft of hair in the back and creates a rooster tail coif.

At his last dr.'s appt he weighed in at 18 lbs 11 oz and 28 inches long. Still no teeth! and no signs of any.

**8 month stories**
Eli has developed a new talent. He now knows how to gag himself. He discovered it by accident, but after my initial startled reaction to him, he continued to do it for days afterward. Even at the dr.'s office. The nurse (after seeing him do it) responded, "they all learn how to do that eventually." What?! It's so hard not to laugh.

After an especially tumultuous afternoon of fighting sleep. Mom and baby were at our wits ends and completely frustrated with the other. I offered Eli a bitter biscuit as a last resort thinking, perhaps this will help. Eli grabbed the graham cracker and gummed it with a slobbery mouth. He then looked up at me with red tear-streaked eyes, smiled his toothless grin and held the gummy cracker up to my mouth for a nibble. My heart melted and we enjoyed our snack together.

Quite the brilliant baby, understanding different properties of states of matter still elude him. Elijah was entertained endlessly during bath time not long ago trying to "catch" water from the faucet.

Oh, and a little product-find endorsement. Flour sacks (bought at wal-mart or the dollar store in 5 or 3 packs) make the PERFECT baby bibs. they are huge, cheap and cotton. I tie it around Eli's neck and let him go to town on his dinner. They cover his entire chest and lap during a meal and afterwards I wash it out in the sink and soak it in a pail of water. When I have a load of laundry I toss it in. For stubborn stains, I add some bleach. Hmm, wonderful.

Fall in East Tennessee

So, We've moved physically and soon so will my blog. to something lame and predictable like hartleyhartley.blogspot, but I'll post that here of course when I decide. I've got like 8 blog post floating around in my head, but having to share a computer with husband until we get more settled I have virtually 5 minutes to check email at 10pm. Thus no new blog entries for a few more days.
But I had to squeeze in this picture of Eli enjoying the crisp fall air here.

First Bug

Eli has his first virus. We've dealt with runny noses- congestion and teething. But we're in the middle of a bout with the first stomach bug. Last night after going to bed at 8, he woke up crying at 9 and by 9:05, I was doused with vomit from head to toe. Eli seemed much better after the incident but projectile vomiting is enough to unsettle anyone. After vomiting on my shoulder, he looked up at me like, "what's happening" and projectile vomited all over the front of my shirt, then turned and got my lap and legs and the carpet. My mom heard all the commotion and my pleas for help which Eli met with more vomit. Grandma and dad arrived just in time to get the after throw-up, "I feel better" smiles and general cuddly malaise. I got a shower and Rob ran to Kroger to get some Pedialite. I had chocked up annoying clingy-ness and general crankiness to normal baby-ness, but I guess now I know.

Today we're resting and recovering. Eli seems to be doing much better. But it still feels like a PJ kinda day.

Eli's Eats and Chicken baby food recipe

We waited for most of the signs books will tell you to see before you begin solid food. Eli was sitting up, about 6 months, showing interest, chewing, moving food to the back of his mouth, etc. and I wanted to wait until after he had had at least a couple vaccines so I could provide him with as many antibodies as possible without worrying about him filling up on cereal. We began with a sippy cup of water and man did he think he was big stuff, but he ditched that in a few days when he realized the cups we drank out of flowed much more freely. He now drinks out of a regular cup unless we're traveling and need the amazing technology that is 'spill-proof'.

We tried rice cereal next which I think he liked at first because of the novelty. We tried a little every couple days, adding a little something to it until he finally convinced me he just didn't like any kind of cereal. Moving on - yellow veggies?...no, bananas. I'm a rule breaker I guess. Eli loved bananas. By the way he eyes them in the kitchen, I think he could more easily recognize a banana than me in a crowd.

Eli has steadily become a 'social eater' wanting just a little while in his highchair at the dinner table to be part of the activity. At first, he didn't eat everyday consistently or the same number of meals everyday. It still varies. I was never too concerned with that because nursing still meets all of his nutritional needs. Now, however, it's much more likely that he cries when he doesn't also get a little bite of food when he sees someone else munching.

(Eli helping picking out food at the grocery-sitting in the grocery cart is Eli's favorite thing. It's a great way to pass the time on a fussy day!)

We noticed from the get go that he loved picking up food and getting it to his mouth. Puffs, rice, banana bits, peaches, avocados are great for this. And anything that was on a spoon, he grabbed the handle and directed it to his mouth. So, we ditched the pureed foods and whatever he can get in his mouth he eats (basically). This has made life uber simple (except for the bigger mess to clean up - Eli and highchair and floor. I love for him to eat what we're eating and we'll take out an Eli helping before the family's food is seasoned. To supplement that, I've got carrots and peas and applesauce on hand. I didn't follow the recommended start with yellow, then this, then that. I read that if you've waited to 6 months and breastfed, it's really unlikely that your baby will react poorly to modified family table foods. That made sense to me and so if it's not on the "Do Not Feed to Baby Allergen List" (i.e. milk, peanuts, citrus), heavily seasoned, or take-out. I'll rip or mush a little bit of our food up for him.After doing some reading, I discovered that this approach is called Baby-led Weaning and people say it helps infants control how much they eat and encourages exploration of foods. I also think it's just simpler.

I got a ton of ideas of easy and nutritious baby friendly foods and how to prepare them from the website below. It also has pdf versions of what your baby may be ready to eat at different ages AND fruit, veggie, and other finger foods for the babyled weaning approach. The website also has a list of spices and menu ideas that are really baby friendly and 'spice' up bland food and recipes to make you own food items like teething biscuits and baby pancakes. It has been a great resource. Eli and I have enjoyed it immensely.

Babyled Weaning
Menu Ideas for Babyled Weaning
Fingerfoods
Age appropriate food chart - (sample 6-8 months)


CHICKEN:

Eli ADORES chicken, although he still has a bit of a hard time gumming shreds of it up enough (I've heard babies love to chew on chicken leg bones with morsels of chicken still on the bone- haven't tried this yet).

I decided to try to make my own chicken baby food since Eli loves it and at the grocery it costs about 95 cents a jar. I bought an all natural whole small chicken about 4.5 lbs for around 3 bucks. I cooked it in the crockpot along with a couple carrots and 1 onion for some light seasoning. While I waited for the broth to cool and separate, I pulled the meat from the bone. I filled muffin tins with part meat, part chicken broth (removing the fat that had risen to the top of the chicken broth) and froze them for about 2 hours. Once the were well frozen, I popped them out and into a big ziploc baggie. Voila. I got about 18 muffin cups from one chicken. And each muffin cup (once defrosted at meal time and pureed with my little hand-cranked baby food maker - And now that Eli's older, sometimes I just rip the chicken chunks up for him to grab) makes about a half jar of grocery store chicken.

Grand total - A little over 30 cents per jar! ca-ching, money in the bank.

7th Heaven

I can't believe I have such a big boy! 7 months, wow.

Eli is, as you can see, sitting up now all by himself. For a few weeks now, he's been sitting and playing independently; amusing himself for much longer than I expected possible. He loves to play. It's so fun to see him want a toy, work to get it, reach for it and explore. I told Rob that I thought Eli scooted a little today on his rear end to get closer to me and Rob said, "oh yeah, I've seen him do that a couple times". So, we're on our way to mobility!

He's been able to blow raspberries for awhile now, but we've hit a new level of preoccupation with this ability. Also, he rattles off all kinds of syllable combinations, including dada (though not yet directed at Rob).

We may soon be entering into the "separation anxiety" phase, as well. For the past few days, Eli's protested when I left the room. We'll have to watch to see if this continues. I guess it's just another realization that we are two separate people.

For about a month now, we've been dabbling with solid foods (more in a later post). Basically, he likes the new tastes and novelty of it, and especially the ability to pick up the food himself and get it to his mouth, but we're nowhere near getting more than just a smidgen of our calories from table food yet.

And sleeping. We're down to 2.5 naps a day. He normally naps a couple hours after he wakes in the morning (around 9 or 10) and if it's a good day sleeps for 2 hours. He'll then have another good nap (sometimes 1.5 or 2 hours) around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Undoubtedly, though, he'll catch a short 15 minute snooze mid afternoon. He's not quite ready to give up that 3rd nap of the day! We're by no means a schedule family (husband and baby would have none of the sort) yet. This is the closest we've ever came to having a semblance of a schedule- and any number of things can change our day to day (long car trips, etc) and Eli just rolls with it.

In the evenings, Eli will go down for the night now around 8pm. Hallelujah, it had been 10pm. Rob and I have switched night time roles, can I get another Hallelujah? Rob now gets up with him first and soothes him. If he's hungry, Rob will pass him too me, but if it's his gums, a stuffy nose, or the need for a midnight snuggle, Rob takes care of it. This new schedule began after Elijah slept for an 8 hour stretch for a couple nights. We decided to try switching roles because I began to feel like after the original cause for waking was remedied it was followed by a, "and now that I'm up I'd like a snack, mom". We seem to both be getting more sleep these days, and Eli seems to be fine with this arrangement, which makes me feel like he was ready for this transition.

I'm all for getting up with your babies at night (it encourages lighter sleep for baby reducing SIDS, night nursings provide important calories for tiny growing babies and too-busy-during-the-day infants, and provides comfort) and I know that through toddler hood, our night-time wakings will ebb and flow during teething, growth spurts, sickness, and random things like changes in his environment (can you say moving?). Night times are still an adventure because whenever Rob is away or we're traveling, our new system seems to falter. And 8 hour stretches are still, by far, the exception in our house. But for now, our nighttime fiestas are fine with me - feeding him and drifting back to sleep isn't that big of a deal.

Eli's Vaccination Schedule

After much thought, prayer and worry. We finally settled on a vaccine schedule for Eli.

I used to not understand why parents hesitated to vaccinate their children; but after Rob and I were vaccinated for our travels to Africa and had mild reactions ourselves and the whole mercury-autism scare happened, I knew I would want to look into it before we choose what was best for our family. Once we found out we were having a boy, I also wanted to be very cautious as the rate of autism among boys is so much higher than that of girls- and so many people still point fingers at vaccines as a leading cause (more and more people believe that autism is due to heavy metal poisoning). I think it would be really interesting for someone to research if boys' blood-brain-barrier remains more penetrable and for longer than baby girls'.

Well, my lack of decision defaulted into a decision pro procrastination. Everything I read left me more conflicted. I knew I didn't feel right about vaccinating a 3 week early 2 month old and I asked to delay until 2 months after his due date. That day came and went and I still didn't feel his body was ready.

Because Rob was no longer traveling internationally, I was exclusively breastfeeding, and Eli wasn't in day care of any kind, I felt delaying a little longer while we worked out a selective, spaced out schedule was better than jumping right in. Still, the more I read the more conflicted I became.

Even after studies show that the thimersal (mercury) in infant vaccines did not cause autism (i'm still not sure I buy this), and it has been removed from most all infant vaccines (check your brands), there are still a lot of nasty ingredients that can make babies sick and some worry cause damage to young systems that aren't mature enough to handle them.

But after 5 months, the worry scale began to tip the other direction. I heard whooping cough everywhere and even made Rob leave a Hardee's after I heard a baby cough next to us that sounded especially juicy. I could see meningitis germs lurking anywhere, even on the purest of church bulletins. As Eli gained the skill to be able to grab and taste even things outside of his reach, I knew it was getting close to time to vaccinate. And a little shy of 6 months, we were at my old pediatrician's office getting our first shot.

We decided to space them out and pair ones with higher levels of aluminum with lower or no aluminum vaccines and higher reactive ones with milder vaccines. We're going to try our best to catch chicken pox naturally as it is amazingly better at providing lifelong immunity among other benefits over the vaccine. This is what we came up with:

Eli's vaccination schedule

6 m - DTaP, HIB (7-7-10)
7 m - Prevnar (8-4-10)
8 m - DTaP, HIB
9 m - Prevnar
10 m* - DTaP, HIB
11 m* - Prevnar
13 m - Polio**
16 m - Mumps, Polio**

19 m - Prevnar, HIB
22 m - DTaP

2y 4m - Rubella, Polio**
2y 10m - Hep A
3y 4m - Measles**
3y 9m - Hep A
4y 4m - DTaP, Polio**
5y 4m - MMR

* These shots may be unnecessary since we began the series so late, we don't quite know if this is the case yet. If they are unneeded, we'll bump the next shots up by a bit.
** We may still do some playing around with the placement of the polio, and M, M, R shots

We'll decided on flu shots as the season presents and our options available..

This schedule does lead to some visits in-between check-up visits. But, our office is so convenient and supportive. We just schedule an appt. with the nurse, pop in get a shot and in 10 minutes we're out.

So far, Eli has done AMAZING with all 3 shots he's received. He wasn't the first bit cranky, did not run a fever, and only had minor irritation at the injection site. And this with no Tylenol! Will we use the same schedule for any other little Hartleys? Maybe, but probably not. I'm sure each child's needs will be a little different. For instance, we won't start vaccinating at 2 months, but I can't imagine us delaying until 6 months with big brother Eli running around with his rat pack toddler friends, eating mud, etc...

Mothering Magazine and The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears were by far my favorite resources during this process.

Life in Limbo

Lately I feel as though I am just posting monthly updates which doesn't make for very interesting blogging, even if the world is able to witness Eli becoming more adorable by the month.

So what does our life look like in Limbo, GA preparing for Knoxville? Well, it's been great hanging with the fam and catching up with friends. After almost 2 years away (1 in Africa & 1 in PA) it's great to be close and refuel with family before we begin this church planting adventure. It's definitely a challenge though to mother and wife in a home not your own, but if making sure everyone is fed and clothed equals success then we're doing about average. I'm really looking forward to getting settled in Knoxville and exploring our new town. But with the good comes the bad...unpacking.

We've been doing a lot of house hunting. And with the clock ticking down until we must be in Knoxville, the search for a house has morphed into apartment search, teepee or dry barn quest. Anywhere will do. I actually did find the house of my dreams yesterday online and I'm counting on a lapse in judgment on the owners' part of accepting 50k less than their asking price. Positive thinking: It will be mine very shortly.

Our bio is up on the Crossings website. Please peruse the staffs bios to get an idea of all the great people Rob will be working with and our new friends. We get more excited by the day to be part of that community. I still have my moments when I worry that all these transitions, a young family, and the challenging task of beginning a church will get the best of me and leave me completely poured out. I ask Keight's question of "Are you trying to ruin my life?" daily to Rob and Jesus. But in all fairness, I wanted both of them to be part of my life and with that comes challenges and changes that I wouldn't have dared on my own. And at the end of the day (actually in the morning before 2pm exhaustion hits), I can't wait for TN and church CCF-style.

Rob sent out our support letters today, so if you wanna get a jump on donating and making sure this little guy gets to keep eating chicken and carrots visit Rob's website and pledge some big bucks.

Mastitis...repeat

I came down with Mastitis just a few days after Rob's family reunion and our big move down south. It lasted a full week and I was the sickest I've been since I was newly married and almost killed myself painting our East Point house in the dead of winter with no open windows (this leads to pneumonia and bronchitis). Come to find out there is a good reason why they say to paint in a well ventilated room.

Since Eli was almost 6 months old when the first case of mastitis- the bane of nursing mothers - hit, I think it was most likely due to fatigue from the move and chronically low iron. (I ran out of iron pills shortly before the move and didn't bother to get anymore thinking I would just wait until we got to GA to replenish my supply--great idea.) I woke up one Monday morning with some serious flu like symptoms and a red, aching, sore chest. I'd learned in La Leche to stay in bed with baby, nurse nurse nurse, and drink plenty of water. By late afternoon, though, I decided I may need to call my midwife because my symptoms were only getting worse with a temperature 103 point something and climbing. I got an antibiotic and spent the better part of the next week in bed and making life easy switching over to disposable diapers and catching up on lots of TV.

About a month later, earlier this week, I found myself with similar symptoms, though not quite as severe. I knew the storm was brewing. I preemptively went to bed and tried the au natural route to healing. I felt awful passing along antibiotics to Eli the first go around and thought I may be able to avoid them this time since my symptoms were much more mild. Though after a day of trying and another really high fever, with the 2nd case of mastitis in a month, I decided I should go to my old ob/gyn nurse in Conyers.

Fearing the worse - (remember I hate drs. offices and hospitals and acknowledging I need them, I tried my best to talk Rob into taking me home from the hospital an hour before Eli was born and only went in the first place because he threatened to pick me up and put me in the truck himself. Can you imagine being picked up mid-contraction? PAIN!) - I imagined I had defective mastitis prone breasts that pooled milk and that they would have to stick me with needles. How could I continue to nurse Eli (painful, yet relieving though it was during the illness) knowing this could happen again, let alone nurse future babies if my lot was to get mastitis again and again?

Turns out it's very unlikely for one to be prone to mastitis. They think that the first antibiotic (Dicloxicillan, a narrow spectrum form of penicillin- which treats the most common form of the infection) was the wrong med for my case and I've actually been sick since late June just suppressing the illness enough to get by. Whew- I thought I was just especially pathetic and whiny the past couple weeks.

The new Rx seems to be working well and I'm thankful to be getting rid of this for good. I still feel guilty giving Eli trace amounts of the antibiotic but everyone's assured me that the amount is so minimal that it's perfectly safe. First time mom that I am though, every time he cries now I'm sure he's suffering from side effects from the drugs :( -- Hopefully this feeling passes in the next few days.

I got a lot of great information and support from a website Kellymom.com on all kinds of nursing related issues, our bradley instructor/la leche league leader, and Rob's sweet parents who nursed me back to health during our supposed to be fun visit with them in June.

Pool Party

We celebrated Elijah's 6 month marker by going to the pool!


We waited for the perfect 100 degree day to go swimming. After liberally applying baby sunscreen (can you imagine anything worse that a sun burnt baby?) and bringing along our rubber duckies we headed to bff faith's mom's pool. On the short 5 minute car ride over, I thought Eli was particularly quiet. After crooning my neck back to look in his carseat, I discovered him dutifully licking the sunscreen off every body part he could reach. I hope baby sunscreen companies test for that... I guess mango scented lotion is confusing to an infant who has just been introduced to the taste bud tingling wonders of fruit.

Eli and Casper the dog became fast friends, Rob and Casper is another story.

Update: Crossings Knoxville

Rob accepted a position with Crossings Church in Knoxville, TN in June! We'll soon be heading up that way...

We are really excited about this new adventure. Rob will be the lead church planter of the new Crossings Church campus in Knoxville.

We went shopping for a home last weekend, and until we find it we are living between parent's homes in GA. We're loving the time with family, while also looking forward to this new beginning with our young family.

Check out the Crossings website and Rob's website.

Rockin' and Rollin' at 5 months

Eli loved hanging out on the dock at Rob's Parents where he celebrated his 5 month marker.

He wasn't quite rolling over yet, but it finally did happen at about 5 months and 1 week.

Other monumental 5 month happenings include:

Eli had the first vaccines ever of his young little life at 5 1/2 months. We got DTaP and HIB, to be followed next month with the prevnar vaccine. He did great, he only silent cried for a few moments and then slept then entire way home from the doctor's office. He never was cranky or ran a fever. I feel good to begin the vaccination process now and am really happy he did so well with his first round.

Eli also began eating and drinking other than at mom's cafe at 5 months and 3 weeks.

First came the sippy cup with water (and a splash of apple juice if Grandma got a hold of it)


and then came the rice cereal


he enjoys both, but his favorite by far is to drink out of a real cup that mom or dad is holding. Rob has doused him more than once with a big swig of water.

Eli also responds to his name, lifts up his hands to be picked up, and has found his feet! This little guy gets cooler and cooler with every passing month.

Rob's Parents, Reunion

So much to catch up on! We have lost our camera cord forever I'm convinced or packed it in a box never to be opened again, so I broke down and bought the neatest thing. You put your camera card in it and plug it into your USB port to automatically download the pics off your camera. I'm sure the majority of the population under 30 is way more tech savvy than me and already knows of such wonders, but it's cool to me.

We arrived at Rob's Parents' home on June 18th. The next day there was a huge Hartley Reunion. I love family and had a blast seeing everyone. It was also really special because Eli got to meet his all of his cousins for the first time.

Below are some pics from the reunion

Rob with his cousins, and Eli with his.



Amy's daughter Hartley (7 months) was fascinated with Eli. Eli had other things on his mind. Sorry Hartley, boys are funny creatures.

Eli with his doting cousin Taylor

Phase 1 Move - Complete

Goodbye Lancaster County, PA.

Rob and I pulled out of 218 E. Orange Street on Monday around 4pm. Just in time to hit rush hour traffic in Harrisburg. We left a POD in the driveway to be picked up later, drove to UHaul and loaded a packed out Saturn with a bike rack onto an autotransport towed by a packed out Tahoe. And, we were off. Eli and I sat in the back among baby play mats, a boucy and a wire baker's rack. How have we accumulated so much stuff since we returned from Africa? I guess a baby will do it. Eli is an experienced mover - this being his second big move. His first, of course, was out-of-utero where his only possessions were a placenta and umbilical cord. Since then, he has accumulated much: pack n play, crib, toys, exersaucer, bath, clothes, I could go on and on.

However, with the horrors of packing, cleaning, and moving out sufficiently behind us, I broke out the Chocolate Wilbur buds and Turkey Hill tea (gifts from our friend Kelly) in the UHaul parking lot. Is it dogs or babies that you can't give chocolate too? I always forget. Let the road trip begin. We made our way down the highway to Roanoke, VA to spend the night on our way to GA by way of Knoxville, TN.

Earlier in the day, I left Rob to finish up the packing while I headed to a Day Spa courtesy of one special friend Heather Quiggle. I anticipated using this wonderful gift on my birthday during those last few trying weeks of pregnancy; however, the little man wanted to come out to play a little earlier than expected and I ended up sticking the gift card to the fridge dreaming about the day I'd be able to get away from husband and baby long enough to be sufficiently pampered. Well, that day never arrived, but I loaded up a sleeping puppy into the car and headed out anyway. He slept the entire time, and my feet have never felt so loved.

Tuesday, Rob and I left the Roanoke hotel a little more sore from moving and significantly more road-weary. We kept it together until about an hour outside of Knoxville, where traveling with an infant after a week's worth of moving caught up with us. An epic argument ensued concerning such important issues as where Rob's toothbrush was, why the propane tank was left in our apartment basement, why Garmin sent us on a detour and who was upsetting the baby more. Never fear, we too are now able to laugh at the absurdities of the afternoon and the Hartley's are staying together. We're really enjoying our time visiting Crossings in downtown Knoxville, TN. We'll be here for the rest of the week until we head down to Alamo, GA for the big Hartley family reunion where Eli will meet his 4 new cousins for the first time!

And, not to rehash any previously mentioned arguments but there are no pictures with this entry because my camera is currently MIA since our move from Lancaster.

I guess this move means a new blog name should be forthcoming.

PA to GA

There are no pictures to go with this post...just imagine utter chaos.

We are moving all earthly possessions from Lancaster, PA to GA.

Trying to pack up and move with a 4 month old does not top my list of "Fun Summer Activities". When exactly am I supposed to pack? Between nursings and changings? While he plays? That only lasts so long. And our hard core napper can sleep through a lot, but banging pots and dropping boxes are too much to ask.

It is HOT in Lancaster and we have no central air. Nightly thunderstorms have been our saving grace.

Yesterday, I filled bags and bags full of clothes to go to GoodWill. Why do I have so many clothes that no longer fit? Oh post-pregnancy body, I thought we were on the same team.

I'm still somewhat in denial we are moving. I am ecstatic to be with family, but the monumental task of packing it all up keeps me from facing the reality.... 9 days and counting until our move- out date of the 14th.

Recent Pictures

This is Elijah's new favorite nursing position. He's so relaxed!

I know we may be months away from a tooth, but teething has begun making me all too aware that my days of toothless grins are numbered.

The big talker in action

The boys chillin' out in the knoxville hotel room. Who's closer to the remote?

He's a charmer, just like his daddy

Bradley Get together

Our Bradley Birth Class had a cook-out/reunion a few weeks ago now that everybody's babies are here. The babies' ages range from about 5 months to 6 weeks. Some people had their babies at home, others in hospitals or birth centers. For most of us this was our first baby, but it was all of our first attempts at a natural child birth.

We learned so much together in our Thursday night classes. Much more than any of us expected, I'm sure. But so much more than learning how to work with our bodies to birth our babies, we learned a way of parenting that has helped shape the parents we're learning to become. I feel like our group has gotten hit a little hard as pretty much all of us have had some sort of scare or trauma surrounding our new babies. But equipped with the knowledge from our Bradley classes, we learned how to work with the medical community to achieve the best outcome possible for our young families. I can't recommend the Bradley method enough!

It was such a sunny day and so great to get together. We shared birth stories, ate hamburgers, talked about hitting and missing milestones, ate hot dogs, and introduced future best friends and spouses.

From Left to Right: Kelly (one of the most influential people in my new mothering endeavors), Eli (looking for lunch), Danielle (a few more gray hairs than last summer, but all in all looking pretty good after 4 months of motherhood)

Look at all those babies! In no particular order these are the fruits of our birth class. Evenly divided- 3 boys, 3 girls

Husband and baby. Looking good guys.

Eli's 4 months

This is our growing boy on his 4th month-abirthday.

Eli loves being with his people. He likes watching Rob and me and making sure we're watching him! Elijah smiles on cue, enjoys silly songs and will rotate his body if he's playing on the floor so that he can watch TV, too. He likes being outside and looks for birds if they're singing because they sound like his mobile. He's got awesome head control and enjoys "telling stories". Rob and I have noticed a funny thing lately. Elijah is scare-able now. You'll know when you've scared him because he will throw his arms back and his bottom lip will pout out and quiver. It's the saddest thing you've ever seen.

Rob discovered this by accident and I've never seen him feel so guilty before.

My First Mother's Day

Rob and I were lucky enough to get to share my first mother's day with family. My mom and aunt met us in Knoxville, TN and we spent an awesome weekend together. They spoiled all 3 of us and we enjoyed being with them immensely.

Eli gave me a card for mother's day which he amazingly signed. Rob's original plan was to put the card in the car seat so that I'd find it when I picked Eli up. Good thing he didn't. Elijah did unmentionable ugliness like never before. Seriously, the diaper must have malfunctioned. I'm glad Rob went with option 2 so that I don't have to keep my 1st mother's day card in a ziploc baggie.

Proper Motivation

Elijah has ALWAYS hated tummy time. I know it's good for him and helps him develop muscles, but he hated it and after a few pathetic waa's I'd roll him over on his back and promise to try again another day.
We recently visited our new pediatrician. He gave Eli a mini baby physical and noted that his upper body strength was still developing. "That's okay," he said, "I wouldn't expect to see more until 4 months and besides he may be a little bottom heavy."

Bottom heavy? Oh no, doc. Wait till you see us next month, we'll have upper body strength out the wazoo. I decided then and there, we were going to stick to tummy time. No pathetic waa's were going to deter me.

The next day we began. About a minute in, Elijah cried and quickly face planted into the mat. No more tummy time. His upper body would just have to develop another way.

I told my mom about this while we were visiting in Knoxville. She suggested letting him watch cartoons on a boppy.

Ahhhh! The little stinker just needed the right motivation. He's been a happy tummy-timer ever since.

Eli is 3

Eli turned the big 3.0 months yesterday and here's his big boy picture.

To celebrate, we went to Wendy Jo's Homemade...Eli wanted a mint chocolate chip milkshake.


Things that are new for us

-Lots and lots of smiles! It took us awhile to get here, but all these toothless grins are enough to send my mommy heart over the edge.

-conversations. Elijah has a lot to say. He coos-long multi-sound coos, responds to my questions, and dare I say sings and tells jokes that crack him and me up. At his one month check-up, the Dr. asked us if he regarded us. After Rob said, "yes, highly," I began to think, "no, not much eye contact yet." But at a full 3 months, "yes, highly indeed." Eli wants to be in the conversation now.

-Where's mom? With the Grands in town last weekend, we all noticed that Elijah was turning toward my voice and looking for me. Oh, the joys of motherhood.


Up next for us... I think Elijah will be rolling over in no time.

Veggie of the Week

I often blog about Market. Like most people in Lancaster City, my life pretty much revolves around Market days. It's an excellent place to get local seasonal veggies, a cup of coffee, fresh baked goods and breads, even plants, flowers, and teas. At about a mile round trip from our house, it was a great distance for a pregger to walk. And now, it works too with Eli externally in tow

Having Market close by has lead to my institution of our "Veggie of the Week" program. Every week, I choose a new and exotic vegetable, like beets, and cook it a couple of different ways to see if we like it at all. For example, parsnips are fantastic roasted, but disgusting in a crock pot. Google has been a great friend in giving me recipes to try, as well as old ladies at Market.

Some recent favs- fennel (in eggs), cauliflower (mashed like potatoes) and swiss chard (sauteed like spinach). It makes for great fanfare at the dinner table and I'm hoping to sneakily make our family healthier by adding to my vegetable recipe repertoire.


Below is a completely unrelated picture taken a few weeks ago of a Bluegrass band outside Central Market one Saturday.